FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS

Click the 2023 Retreat tab on the menu bar to reserve your spot. If you have any questions, please fill out our contact form or email us at hello@loveagainmarriage.com. We will happily answer them all!

WHY DO YOU BELIEVE SO MUCH IN YOUR INTENSIVE COUPLES RETREATS?

Because you make more progress, sooner:

• A private intensive couples retreat offers change, connection and healing in days rather than the months or years required for an hour-per-week therapy session.

• You stay focused on your relationship, each day. There is no wasted time in our group or private coaching sessions.

• Starting with orientation, history, goals and focus and your current situation, you immediately begin to work on your relationship.

• Individual sessions focusing on each spouse are easily integrated into the course of the day to deal with individual trauma/difficulties in the present and then integrated into the relationship work.

• The effects of trauma (broadly defined) are being recognized as a primary contributor to most presenting problems; attachment style and personal relationship history are recognized as contributing to the harmful conflict cycles couples get caught up in and these problems can be addressed, resolved and integrated quickly, not over months or years.

• Actual problem-solving, individual attachment, stabilization, and practical living strategies can be integrated “here and now” as you focus on the relationship needs throughout the day.

WHAT TYPES OF PROBLEMS CAN BE SOLVED IN A COUPLES RETREAT?

Every couple is unique in how they connect to one another and the issues they face in their relationship. We have worked with couples facing all sorts of problems and found that couples can recover from anything, provided that both partners are motivated to do the work. Below are some reasons why couples decide to embark on a private intensive retreat:

• Contemplating divorce: Most couples that come to a retreat have been in a state of distress for quite some time. Often one or both partners have already contemplated divorce. It is imperative that couples in this situation address their core issues immediately, or else divorce may be the inevitable conclusion. Weekly hour-long therapy or coaching sessions simply do not provide enough time or depth to work into the bulk of the resentment, distrust and attachment issues faced by couples in a situation this emotionally precarious. A retreat provides a safe and supportive environment where couples have the opportunity to unpack all the aspects of their relationship that are causing them to suffer, transforming their distrust into a framework of communication and understanding and restoring their faith and trust in one another.

• Going through an affair: Often couples come to the retreat as a result of newly discovered infidelity, or an old affair that has not been properly healed yet. An affair is a powerful act of betrayal and can instantly thrust a relationship into serious emotional turmoil, destroying the trust and safety that couples feel towards one another. A retreat gives each partner the time they need to share their side of the story, go deep into the emotional impact that the affair has had on them and to take the necessary steps to rebuild broken trust and move forward with renewed vows.

• Problems with emotional and sexual intimacy: Intimacy can degrade over time as poor communication and old relationship wounds are left unhealed. As partners begin to feel emotionally and sexually distant from one another, physical attraction often suffers as well, further increasing the negative cycle and their sense of disconnection. A retreat gives couples the opportunity to heal old relationship wounds, reestablish trust and intimacy and to learn tools they can use to effectively navigate future issues before they affect the foundation of the relationship. 

• Empty nest syndrome or living like roommates: In long-term relationships, there is a tendency for partners to take each other for granted. This often has to do with responsibilities and stressors outside of the relationship; e.g. children, work-related stress, etc. After such a long time of neglecting their emotional connection, the couple may end up feeling more like roommates than partners. This may persist for some time but often comes to a head with a major life change, like children leaving home for college, or one or both of the spouses retiring. A retreat provides the opportunity for couples to reestablish why they are together and to remember why they began their relationship in the first place, rekindling lost passion and developing a renewed sense of connectedness.

• Mid-life crisis or major life changes: A mid-life crisis can often trigger turmoil in a relationship, as one or both partners reevaluate the premise of their connection and the meaning they derive from their life. A crisis can occur when somebody hits certain age milestones, loses their longtime career or retires, sending them into a deep cycle of questioning and despair. A retreat gives a couple the opportunity to deeply analyze the confusion and disconnection generated by such large life changes, develop important coping skills for the shifts that are happening and to reaffirm their decision to stay together and continue building their relationship.

• Pre-marital issues or fine-tuning your connection: It's easy to fall in love, but often quite challenging to stay that way. It takes emotional intelligence, well-established communication skills, and a robust set of tools to address all of the ups and downs that occur over the course of a relationship. Proactive couples will choose to address these issues before they become a larger problem, often before they take the plunge into marriage or soon after to ensure that the relationship stays on track.